God and Cancer.....

I'm sure anyone reading this knows of someone who's life has been affected by Cancer in some way. Never in my life did I think I would be faced with such a thing. I had a close friend who died of Lung Cancer a few years before I found out I had it. He died only 8 short months after he was diagnosed. I can still remember his wife calling me the day they found out. Only now can I really relate to what he must have been going through. As I said I went to the ER hemorrhaging. My sister in law Angel went with me. I called Roger to tell him I was there. I was seen by an ER Doctor who told me he needed to consult with another Colleague. In the mean time a nurse came in and gave me a sedative as my BP was elevated. Roger got there shortly before the other Doctor came in. I hate to admit it but I had not keep up with my yearly exams. (PLEASE any woman reading this GO!! get your yearly exam.) To my surprise the colleague was the GYN I had not seen in forever. He did his exam. I will never forget him saying those 3 words "You have cancer" and it has spread. NO! It can't be!! At that point I think I was in shock. I felt like I was caught up in a whirlwind of sorts. My life was suddenly spinning out of control. I was told I would be admitted to the cancer wing of the hospital. I needed a blood transfusion I had lost lots of blood. I would also have a biopsy first thing the next morning. Utter fear was all I could feel.
I'm ashamed to say although I was a Christian I had been out of Church probabally 6 or 8 months when I found out. There were several things that happened that lead to me leaving the church I was attending, (I want share those now) I'll just say the enemy is always working to discourage you. But that night in the ER I agreed to let Roger call his Mom to tell her. She said she was calling the Pastor. I agreed to let her. I knew in my heart I needed God to help me make it through this ordeal. When the pastor arrived we talked and he told me God still loved me even though I had not been seeking his will in my life. He prayed with me and I asked God to forgive me for turning my back on him. I asked him to guide me through the journey that was ahead of me. I knew without him I couldn't make one step. After I prayed a since of peace came over me. I realized although I still had cancer. I would not have to face it alone. He would be with me no matter what!